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Year 4 Writing - 30th June 2015

Year 4 have been looking at deserts as part of their topic.  One of their challenges was to use a picture as a clue to the opening of a story.  Please read these two examples, one from Tori and one from Bethan.

 

Footsteps in the Sand

A pair of wide wings cut through the sapphire sky, climbing and twirling down it repeatedly. An orange eye stared at the mass of sand that it cast its shadow on.

 


The huge creature swooped down, landing on a gloved hand that belonged to a cloaked figure. The man stumbled forward, his cloak sliding off his head. The sun blared on the now revealed human and he spluttered at its deathly scorch. He dragged his hood back over his balding head with his unoccupied arm, and journeyed on.


The sun became hotter and hotter and soon  the man was yearning for water as he had finished his only flask and could feel beads of sweat forming on his forehead. He limped up a particularly huge sand dune and gave a strangled yelp of surprise. Before him lay a huge body of water stretched across the sand. Large palm trees were lined up either side of the water, shimmering in the sunlight. He scrambled down the other side of the dune and ran as fast as he could, sand flying up from his heels. He knelt down at the waters side and splashed his face laughing. He downed the soothing liquid and drank everything he could.
In a much better mood from his refreshments, the traveller filled his empty flask and advanced on with his squawking bird at his side, leaving a long trail of large footprints behind…

 

Tori

 

Footprints in the Sand
Cloudless blue skies greeted me as I stepped into the Libya Desert. The heat of the sand against my feet made me jump back in surprise. I knew the sand was going to be hot, but not that hot.


An endless stretch of sand met my eyes. As far as the eye could see was sand, nothing but sand and the occasional plant or shrub.


I knew there was a story to every sand dune, it’s past and it’s future. I trekked up the gently sloped side of one of the sand dunes and happily tumbled down the other side, which was noticeably steeper. My skin was still getting used to the sand’s heat but I hardly regretted falling over myself to get to the bottom of the sand dune.


I played the same game for quite some time before scrabbling up the gentle side of the dune and pausing. Stopping. Because I saw an oasis. Well, I thought I did anyway. But then I doubted my
As the air got colder and colder, I began to wonder why I really came here.
I decided to wait until the heat built up and the sun to shine again and then dragged myself to where the water should have been. I knelt down and closed my eyes. Then I scooped up water…


But it wasn’t there!!!
There was just sand slipping through my fingers!
I sadly walked to the nearest sand dune and perched on the top. I didn’t know there was a real oasis right in front of me!
There were footprints in the sand!
I’m no expert, but I was pretty sure there had been a man and a camel there

Bethan

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